May 29th entry before the concert...

May 29th 2010

Today has begun and the rain has covered the earth. Rain, clouds, and wind fill the land of England at the current moment. I struggle to get enough energy and motivation to head outside to go to the Slam Dunk Festival on the other campus. Do I want to take this task? Should I just be a loser and hang out in my room watching movies and being utterly depress that there is no internet and no communication to the outside world. I'm just in my own little bubble waiting and hoping.

Each day, each hour, each minute is hard work to get by. I wish it was already next friday so I will be leaving this place. I am grateful for being in the UK for 9 1/2 months and traveling around Europe but I need a break. I need a break from vacation, a break from the world here, a break from this rain.

Everyone is leaving and hoping to get something better when they go home. I know I won't get anything better but I'm getting my friends, family, and animals. Those ones I miss so dearly and helped me through these last six months. I know things are not going to be like they were when i was back home. I changed and they have changed. I know the direction I want to go in. I know what I want with my life. I know I want to get more work in galleries and enter contest. I need to motivate myself to do this. I want to make the book of all things I have done over the year. I want to show people that they can do this and still survive.

I would do this experience all over again if I got the chance. I learned that i am strong enough to be away from my family. I can produce work that tutors in England like and enough. I can write more elegantly yet i still need to proof read, lol. I can produce high quality of research of my art subject. I need to work on learning about more contemporary artist and not classical. I need to look in depth about how light is being produced within art work.