the last journal entry from england...

June 4th
so i wrote in my journal earlier about leaving well, here is a longer version.

I said my good bye to people I have met and grown close too. I am torn between two places now. I did not think this would actually happen you know. I did not think I would be able to make such great and amazing friends. It is so hard. I hate saying good bye to them. I get to say good bye to Kaz and Tina tomorrow. It is going to be hard. :( I am going to miss them terribly. They have helped me through so much this semester. I know I am going to keep in touch with them. It will be brilliant. :) Saying goodbye to Hanna and Sarah was hard too. They were such great people! I am glad I got to know them. :)I didn't get to say a goodbye to Charlie and some other level one kids. I know they are going to succeed in life. they are all amazing artist. :)

Saying goodbye to Ian and Emma was hard too. I am going to miss helping them out and learning about business aspect of bring a freelance photographer. They have taught me so much!!! I hope I get to come back for graduate school here so I can work with them again. :)

I never knew how much of an impact on people and how they have an impact on me. I actually can't believe it. Everyone keeps asking when I will be back and the answer i can give them is when i have enough money again to travel to the UK. I will definitely come back. I can't believe i'm going to cry about leaving England. It has become a part of me. It has changed me for the better and I still can't believe i have gone to places like Germany, Italy, Holland, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland. In England, I have gone to Oxford, Bath, Canterbury, London, Leeds, St. Albans, Welwyn Garden City, Wheathampstead, Brighton, Burford, Whitey, Cirenchester, Bourton on the water, Stroud, Hatfield, Maidstone, Stonehenge, and Luton.

I learned a lot about myself this year. I know now i can face the leaving my family, and friends and still be able to survive. I know now that I can succeed with my photography and can explain it. I know I can do traveling by myself. I still don't know myself that well. I'm still struggle grasping what i need but I am need to accomplish my goals that I set before myself. I know i have enough courage and strength to face pretty much a shit load of crap. I know that I have an extremely supportive and loving family that has helped me throughout my trails. I know who my true friends are and I am glad that I have them.

I would if i could send everyone abroad and have them experience what I have experience throughout these nine months. Nine months away from everyone. crap. It puts thing in perspective and helps you understand more about yourself and the cultures/environment you face. You see how truly ignorant some people are and ridiculous they are.

Well, it is almost eleven o'clock at night and I'm super tired. lol. I should be heading to bed soon cause i gotta wake up at 5am. lol. :)

I hope you all have a great time.

Love,
Marianna :)

the last journal entry from england...

June 4th
so i wrote in my journal earlier about leaving well, here is a longer version.

I said my good bye to people I have met and grown close too. I am torn between two places now. I did not think this would actually happen you know. I did not think I would be able to make such great and amazing friends. It is so hard. I hate saying good bye to them. I get to say good bye to Kaz and Tina tomorrow. It is going to be hard. :( I am going to miss them terribly. They have helped me through so much this semester. I know I am going to keep in touch with them. It will be brilliant. :) Saying goodbye to Hanna and Sarah was hard too. They were such great people! I am glad I got to know them. :)I didn't get to say a goodbye to Charlie and some other level one kids. I know they are going to succeed in life. they are all amazing artist. :)

Saying goodbye to Ian and Emma was hard too. I am going to miss helping them out and learning about business aspect of bring a freelance photographer. They have taught me so much!!! I hope I get to come back for graduate school here so I can work with them again. :)

I never knew how much of an impact on people and how they have an impact on me. I actually can't believe it. Everyone keeps asking when I will be back and the answer i can give them is when i have enough money again to travel to the UK. I will definitely come back. I can't believe i'm going to cry about leaving England. It has become a part of me. It has changed me for the better and I still can't believe i have gone to places like Germany, Italy, Holland, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland. In England, I have gone to Oxford, Bath, Canterbury, London, Leeds, St. Albans, Welwyn Garden City, Wheathampstead, Brighton, Burford, Whitey, Cirenchester, Bourton on the water, Stroud, Hatfield, Maidstone, Stonehenge, and Luton.

I learned a lot about myself this year. I know now i can face the leaving my family, and friends and still be able to survive. I know now that I can succeed with my photography and can explain it. I know I can do traveling by myself. I still don't know myself that well. I'm still struggle grasping what i need but I am need to accomplish my goals that I set before myself. I know i have enough courage and strength to face pretty much a shit load of crap. I know that I have an extremely supportive and loving family that has helped me throughout my trails. I know who my true friends are and I am glad that I have them.

I would if i could send everyone abroad and have them experience what I have experience throughout these nine months. Nine months away from everyone. crap. It puts thing in perspective and helps you understand more about yourself and the cultures/environment you face. You see how truly ignorant some people are and ridiculous they are.

Well, it is almost eleven o'clock at night and I'm super tired. lol. I should be heading to bed soon cause i gotta wake up at 5am. lol. :)

I hope you all have a great time.

Love,
Marianna :)

last night in england

so today is my last night and last blog from england. wow, this has been quite a ride throughout the nine months i have been away. nine months. holy cow. so insane. It has been really good meeting new people, getting various opinions on my art work, and getting the confidence i need to succeed in this business of photography. :)

I am so thankful for being able to get home tomorrow without a delay from the strike. i hope everything runs smoothly. in 24 hours dude. ahhh. i'm super excited.

i'm gonig to actually head off to the hotel. i'm in the LRC right now. I get to keep my student id card. i am so thrilled about that. I need to start planning my trip back here. lol.

love you all,
marianna

Last Day in my Dorm Room

so, tonight it is my last day in my dorm room. This room has been my home for nine months. Can you believe it? i have survived living in a dorm. My first time living away from home and I'm all the way in the UK! It is kinda of depressing about leaving here. I know, who would have thought I would say that. lol. I am going to miss my friends and the people I have met. They have changed my life and made me feel more confident about my work. I think if I just go for it I can achieve it.

I am thankful that i did this and got all these experiences....well, i'm just getting depressed writing this so i'm going to stop and do something happy. lol. like edit my photographs from ireland.

three days

three days until i'm home.

Yesterday was Ireland. It was crazy/amazing/the same. lol. It was a crowded industrial city. The castle was small, st. patrick cathedral was pretty but small. lol. I guess I'm used to the LARGE English Cathedrals right now. lol. I wish we had time to go to the country side. I am going to plan a trip to Donegal and Galway for like two weeks. that would be amazing. SAVE MONEY! lol.


Well, I have had only about 4 hours of sleep since Monday night. not really good. lol. So i best be off to bed. Good night everyone. More updates tomorrow maybe. Tomorrow is the last day I work with Ian and Emma. Kinda of bummed about that. :(

Love,
Marianna

May 29th entry before the concert...

May 29th 2010

Today has begun and the rain has covered the earth. Rain, clouds, and wind fill the land of England at the current moment. I struggle to get enough energy and motivation to head outside to go to the Slam Dunk Festival on the other campus. Do I want to take this task? Should I just be a loser and hang out in my room watching movies and being utterly depress that there is no internet and no communication to the outside world. I'm just in my own little bubble waiting and hoping.

Each day, each hour, each minute is hard work to get by. I wish it was already next friday so I will be leaving this place. I am grateful for being in the UK for 9 1/2 months and traveling around Europe but I need a break. I need a break from vacation, a break from the world here, a break from this rain.

Everyone is leaving and hoping to get something better when they go home. I know I won't get anything better but I'm getting my friends, family, and animals. Those ones I miss so dearly and helped me through these last six months. I know things are not going to be like they were when i was back home. I changed and they have changed. I know the direction I want to go in. I know what I want with my life. I know I want to get more work in galleries and enter contest. I need to motivate myself to do this. I want to make the book of all things I have done over the year. I want to show people that they can do this and still survive.

I would do this experience all over again if I got the chance. I learned that i am strong enough to be away from my family. I can produce work that tutors in England like and enough. I can write more elegantly yet i still need to proof read, lol. I can produce high quality of research of my art subject. I need to work on learning about more contemporary artist and not classical. I need to look in depth about how light is being produced within art work.

one week and no internet

it is officially one week until i'm back in california and starting in 5 hours 30 minutes i won't have the internet until sunday at 5om lol :)

i am super excited.

Tomorrow NFG
Sunday Brighton :D

good night all

love,
Marianna

Graduate School...

So i am looking at graduate schools. I got three semesters before i'm done with my BFA and BA. I need to figure out when they heck I apply for it and where.

Here are the top schools so far:
Sotheby Institute location: London, England
http://www.sothebysinstitute.com/photography.html
"This programme is aimed at those who wish to study in-depth the significance of photography in modern visual culture and to pursue a career as a specialist in photographic imagery and objects.

The primary focus of the course is the critical analysis of the ways in which the earliest photographic experiments through to the latest contemporary photographic images have established a significant presence in private collections, public museums, commercial galleries and publishing.

There is a varied programme of guest lectures by distinguished scholars and experts as well as study visits to museums, art fairs and collections in the UK and abroad.

Graduates go on to pursue a variety of careers, often within the photographic gallery and auction network or the contemporary art world."


Yale University: Conn.
http://art.yale.edu/Photography
"The degree of Master of Fine Arts is the only degree offered by the School of Art. It is conferred by the University upon recommendation of the faculty after successful completion of all course work in residence and after a thesis presentation that has been approved by the faculty. It implies distinctive achievement on the part of students in studies in the professional area of their choice and demonstrated capacity for independent work. The minimum residence requirement is two years. All candidates’ work is reviewed by faculty at the end of each term. If the work is not considered satisfactory, the student may not be invited back to complete the program (see section on Review and Awards under Academic Regulations). All degree candidates are expected to be present at the Commencement exercises in May unless excused by the dean.

Course work for the Master of Fine Arts degree carries a minimum of sixty credits. The disposition of these credits varies according to the area of study and is agreed upon at the time of registration between the student and his or her faculty adviser."

SJSU Location: San Jose
http://art.sjsu.edu/adgrad/programs/mfa/
"The Photography Program is supportive of a wide range of traditional, conceptual and interdisciplinary approaches to lens related imaging. The faculty is comprised of artists/photographers with national and international careers whose work ranges from conceptual installation and new genres to traditional and commercial. Technical facilities are among the best and largest in California and include five Epson printers (9600, 4800, 7600 and 4000), one Kodak 4000 printer, a large complement of digital support equipment, a 30" color processor, digital and film based cameras to 8x10 inches in format, and four instructional complexes with fifty enlargers, eight lighting studio stations, and facilities for alternative photographic processes. Philosophically, the program is committed to addressing the breadth of contemporary critical issues and practices while realistically preparing the student for a career in the field. During the course of their studies in the program, qualified graduate students may apply for the opportunity to teach at the Teaching Associate level, which provides a generous stipend and tuition waiver. Students are offered considerable freedom between teaching, studio practice, academic classes and outside internships within which to design a program specific to their individual needs."

Academy of Art University Location: San Francisco
http://www.academyart.edu/photography-school/mfa_program.html
"The graduate program in Photography imparts a high level of digital and traditional photography skill, graduate quality theory, and substantially educates and supports students in their investigation of the applied and fine arts specializations. This is accomplished through the mastery of specific skills according to the student’s needs; strong education in relation to relevant theory; emphasis on the student’s personal vision; a professional faculty that provides depth as well as breadth of experience; and facilities that provide a professional context for study. Students have the opportunity to concentrate in the area of photography of specific interest to them while becoming aware of core principles related to photography as a medium.

The philosophy of the Department is to support graduate students in becoming leaders rather than followers in their area of specialization. Photography courses include a mix of studio courses, individual advisement and seminars. Strong conceptual and technical knowledge is the underpinning of the curriculum with a powerful and cohesive final Thesis Project being the tangible result."

I am still looking for more. i'm just so confused plus IT ALL COST SO MUCH MONEY! ARGH.

NINE MORE DAYS

OMG OMG OMG, NINE MORE DAYS. Almost all my stuff is packed and ready to go back. I am super excited about heading home. I miss my dogs, my family, friends, couch, bed, bathroom, washer/dryer, my car, home cooked meals, root beer, driving around sunnyvale, and more....lol.

tomorrow is death day. I get my feedback tomorrow. i'm scared. i hope it works out okay. so scared. argh. :(

okay, well, i'm done with this entry and going to pack up my duffel bag for my friend. lol. giving her a lot of stuff yay!

love,
marianna

life continues

so, life continues on and we are moving closer to the end here. As each day passes by I am thrilled to be heading home back to California seeing my friends, my dogs, family, and just being able to relax. But at the same time I feel like i need to continue traveling and visiting places. Your perception of things really change when you enter a place that you have never been too. I have learned that I can adapt to things that I never I could have. Seeing these things and photographing them don't really give them justice. You don't feel like you are in London without hearing the sounds of traffic passing by, the sound of the people speed walking by, and people honking their horns. Or at the Cotswold, you don't hear the birds chirping, the wind passing through the trees, and the sun beating down on your face. It is amazing just staying there and capturing the moment.

things really do change when you are away from home. you realize things aren't always going to be the same thing. things keep changing and nothing ever goes back to normal. the cycle of knowing that you can leave without some people and can't without others. the struggle of actually breaking out of a shell and emerging. People aren't going to like it and going to leave.

I think the shell that was around me is going to be broken by the time I get home. I am going to break it and not give in to anyone anymore. I will speak my mind and tell people to shut the f up. :) That would be a nice turn in events. lol

It is weird, this time last year, i was sitting in my home watching television and waiting for the word about being accepted to the University of Hertfordshire. Now, i'm here in England, waiting to get home. a year away has really helped me out. I now have the direction of photography i want to continue to work with and to experiment with film and try to get it. :D I think it should be awesome. I have met a lot of wonderful people.

Well, it is time to sleep.

Love,
Marianna.

Two Weeks

two weeks until i'm back in the states. wowie.

So here is a break down of what happened the past 12 days
Monday May 10th:
Packed up my studio, booked trip to Egypt and Ireland. Dad and Pat arrived.

Tuesday May 11th
Headed towards Oxford but stopped in a small village and took photographs. Then ate at the local pub. Arrived around Oxford about 3ish in the afternoon. Found a place to stay at a B&B near Christ Church College

Wednesday May 12th:
Stayed in Oxford and took photographs everywhere, and took night photographs

Thursday May 13th
went to Burford then continued to Bath

Friday May 14th
walked around Bath. Went to the Baths, gardens, etc.

Saturday May 15th
headed to Cirencester and stopped at Tetbury before we went to our b&b

Sunday 16th
Bourton on the water and walked around the area near the hotel

Monday May 17th
went to Stroud and took photographs then headed to Hatfield

Tuesday May 18th
London for a 12 hour day- Tarfalgar Square, Leicester Square, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, House of Parliament, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, and Tower of London.

Wednesday May 19th
relaxed in the morning then went to London to night photographs stayed out until 2am

Thursday May 20th
stayed in hatfield and relaxed

Friday May 21st
Leeds Castle

Saturday 22nd
Dad and Pat left, cleaned up my room and started to get things organized. Trying to re book my flight to Egypt. :D

Now, I need to sleep. I've been watching TV and editing photographs! it is insane .I keep finding more. I am going to have to go to the LRC to upload them all or something with my laptop. The internet really sucks here. lol.

I miss you all. Going to see Iron Man 2 tomorrow and confirming my Egypt trip. :)

Love,
Marianna

Tomorrow

will be a long entry...be aware....lol. Time to read and sleep. :D

Sorry

I am way behind in writing in this blog!!! Been uber busy with my dad and pat. It has been a crazy 10 days so far!!! :D Will update on Saturday with everything we have done. :) Lots of photographs to edit and post! I'm behind. lol.

16 days until i'm back in the states! omg.

today

is heart attack. lol. yeah. will write more later. i need to sleep :D

tomorrow starts adventure with dad and pat.

scotland bound.

26 days...

until i'm back in the states. omg. i can't believe it. Today is sunny and i woke up early to do my wash. Now i'm just chillin' in my room waiting for it.

My dad's flight gets in at 12:55 so they should be here around 5ish. lol. I can't wait to see them. :D Then 11 days of traveling with them through England, Wales, and Ireland. I am going to die afterwards. Then two days after that I'm going to CAIRO! OMG. I'll be with the pyramids. I can touch the pyramids. so super excited. then after that I think I'm going to Ireland again for two days. then packing, working with Ian, then home. wow.

Saturday, I went to BRIGHTON. it was cool. I was sad though it rained. I can't believe it. but anyway, it is was cool beach town. Didn't really look like the beach towns in California but totally nicer buildings. lol. They had shops and fish n chips places along the beach. There were rocks instead of sand which freaked me out a bit. lol.

here are some photos:





Anywho, i gotta go back downstairs soon to move my wash to the dryer. I hope everyone has a great day.

Love,
Marianna

I am officially done with school

i'm done with school here!!! i survived a YEAR! omg. I can't believe it!!! YAY!

So, i'm trying to pack up my stuff and figure it out but dude it is so hard!!! ARGH! :( All my stupid art stuff weighs a ton. I am going to recycle more stuff.

I'll write more in a bit. Gotta head back to my suitcase. ARGH.

love,
marianna

May the 5th

So, i'm surviving. lol. I can't believe I have 31 days i'm back. In the meantime, i'm going to be traveling like a manic. lol. May 10th to May 22nd = traveling with my dad and pat. May 23rd = Chatsworth house. May 24th to 27th = Egypt (maybe). May 28th = Feedback. May 29th = Concert. May 30th = day of rest and wash. May 31st to June 1st = Edinburgh. June 2nd to June 4th = packing. June 5th= Home. wowie. crazy!

i am going to die with all this traveling and packing. lol. It will be amazing to go to these places. It is so much cheaper from london then from the states. I can't believe it. lol.

So, today and tomorrow are nice relaxing days. Friday is my presentation for my class and then I AM FREE!!! AHHH!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I will officially survive a whole year away from my family and friends. I only got to see them for eights in december and my mom and virg for a week. Now, my dad and pat for 12 days. wowie! I can't believe it. This is crazy. I had my ups and down but i survived.

Oh yeah, brighter news, I got the pentax k7! :D It needs to ship today or tomorrow to get to my dad before he comes or I wont have my large digital camera. :( Then it will be me and mr. darcy around england and ireland. yay. ;)

Anywho, i'm going to get a soda cause i'm falling asleep in here and i'm going downstairs to check my powerpoint presentation.

byee!

Love,
Marianna

so sad :(

my sensor on my pentax camera is going out. there are green lines on my photographs. i'm uber sad about this. i can't believe it is dying on my right now. i gotta go and get a new camera now which really sucks even though i should be happy. I love my pentax. I am going to get the Pentax K7 before my dad and pat came so i will have a digital camera. argh. i'm so depressed. this is so annoying. AHHH! WHY?!?!?!

Another thing, it was a bank holiday! I didn't know. I could have slept in. argh. Tomorrow I gotta wake up early and head to the studio to get my stuff done. grrr. i'm so annoyed. now i'm head is hurting again.

On the brighter side, i have all my sketchbooks done and ready to go. I just have to touch up my presentation and write out the note cards then i'm done with that. Friday is my last day. I'm thrilled. then Monday, I have to take everything out my studio then it is done! woo hoo.

Well, i'm going to head to bed early tonight so i can wake up early. going to read for a bit.

Love,
Marianna

Today was interesting

So, today began when I woke up around noon. It was great sleeping in for once this week. Well, i actually just got my 8 to 9 hours of sleep because I went to bed so late which sucks. Went to ASDA to pick up my prints and yeah, turned out to be shit. It is so depressing. The bloody idiots scanned the negatives at 72dpi! WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU SCAN THE NEGATIVES AT 72DPI TO MAKE A 16X20 PRINT?!??!! WHY?!?! SO, now i'm kinda of screwed for my final on Wednesday. I gotta find a scanner downstairs in the art and design building and try to get the scanned at 300 dpi. Argh. Then she didn't give me my other set of prints so i have to go back there on Monday to get them. 152 more prints. blah. Lovely.

But the other news is that I packed one suitcase and it is bloody huge. lmao. I have to go and get another one. It should be good. I think I might have two more to get. One for my art stuff and the second for my clothes and other stuff. It should be interesting. oh yeah, i need a duffel bag for the time when my dad and pat are here too. lol. Can't fit ten days worth of stuff in my backpack plus my camera gear that would be totally hard.

Tomorrow, i am going to take some photographs, finish my presentation and make it pretty then get all my stuff together. Hopefully, everything turns out good. Monday, I set up my studio and finish some stuff.

But here are some photographs:







Oh yeah, it is Shannon's 35th birthday! I can't believe she is 35! MAN! it is crazy. I'm going to be 26 in august. this is going to suck. blah.


Anywho, I'm going to finish watching Max Payne online. lol

Love,
Marianna

OMG

IT IS MAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

the weather

is dreadful right now.

argh

I don't know what to print for my final! I am freaking out!!! ARGH! D: I am going to go through all my negatives tomorrow and get some prints. :D 35mm. I think I am going to go do it. Easier and less compllicated. I will get the large prints when I get home back in the states. I miss having things so close to me and not having to take a bus then train to places. I can't wait to be home. :D

Luton

heading to luton tomorrow during the day for scanning and printing. i hope it works out then welwyn garden city after that with tina if tina ever responds back to me. :/

Doing better...

Turned in my essay, did my test print (it totally failed but i want to see if it would work), got an email back from Uta which is awesome!!! So, things are going. Gotta do my wash and go to Luton to get my negative scanned and printed. I wonder how it is going to look. Interesting.

Just sitting in the studio and helping Kaz with her stuff. lmao. Level 1 assessment starts tomorrow. they are all freaking out. All my stuff is ready to go except the presentation. i gotta do a test run on that.

Well, I'm off to get some stuff done.

Love,
Marianna

so blah

Lately, I have not been feeling motivated or anything. I feel like all my photographs are shit again. It is so annoying. i take the photographs and I see the blur and pixel and pisses me off so badly. Then my 120mm film prints are SHIT and SCANS are shit too! I can't find anything photography related here to make things nice. I am getting so fed up with it. I know, I don't know. I just wish I could get the results i want but I can't right now. I just want to scream and never leave my bed ever again. ARGH.

I've been keeping myself locked in my room for unknown amounts of time. Trying to escape into tv shows. I don't want to deal with school over here. I just want to go back home and finish my freaking degrees then get my masters then TEACH! Then accomplished. :D I want to do night video with stop motion and video typing. I want to improve my writing skills and vocabulary. I want to do some much but I can expand here anymore. I learned everything I needed too. I know I need to trust in myself and explore things. I need to just go out in the dark and find that bloody light. I need to get external flash to help illuminate my photographs. I know what I need to do but I can't do it until I get home. ARGH!

Oh god, packing my room. it is going to be a nightmare. I have so much crap. I think three suitcases! ahh. I have to get them from the galleria soon and start packing up some souvenirs and some clothes that I don't wear a lot plus books and movies. I'm so utterly lost within it. I have a bag full of books to donate or give to someone. I have movies too. ah.

I just hate the feeling of being so lost...

The one thing that is TRULY pissing me off more than my photographs are my friends and family don't talk as much! TALK GOSH DARN YOU ALL!!! Everyone asks me questions about how everyone else is doing!!! Just talk to each. Yeah, we all grown up and went different ways but we are still the same dorks from high school and we are still the same family as before. It is so annoying.

I am just venting out all my frustration and don't take it personally if you are. This is the only thing I can do to vent and let everything out. I just want to scream. I wish I drank at times cause i think it would be simpler in my frustration department. lol. Just drink it all away but i don't. I'm the outcast here because I don't drink or smoke or go to parties. Yeah, not my thing. I'm artisty, movie loving, and hanging out with friends. I'm not a drunk, smoker, one night stand person. It is annoying.

All this is giving me a headache because I know people are going to read this and feel mad or get pissed off at me. Then all the shit will be falling down. ANNOYING! My new word is ANNOYING! You know what, I can't do anything about anything back home because i'm over 5300 miles away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh another thing, I missed the ceremony for my honors for my dean scholar award! Yes, I am on the dean scholar list because I achieved over a 3.65 for more than three semesters in a ROW! YES! :D I missed it.. OH yeah, i'm missing Mr. Shannon's memorial. Even thoug I didn't know him, he helped a lot of my friends and was a mentor to most of them. He was a cool guy. Died to young. D:

I am constantly disappointed with people. I am too nice. I feel like a failure. I feel lost. I feel like this isn't going to end. I need the 42 days until I go home to go faster. I need not to feel. Gosh, i sound like a cheery person. I need facebook to work. I wish my photographs were better. I wish things would change. I wish I could do so many more things. I wish I had more friends here that I could hang out with. I wish I had a car so I could go driving. I really miss the beach. I miss the ocean. I miss the sun again. I miss my friends from last semester.

I is too much. I think of myself too much. I haven't been thinking about others. I need to think about other more. I shouldn't keep myself locked away but my motivation is gone.

This is my life right now. It should be getting better. 15 days until my dad and pat comes and I am completely done with school. 41 days until I am home. 34 more days until my concert. Counting down makes it easier.

Time to hit the store for a coke and maybe a sandwich. i need to get out of my room.

Love,
Marianna

okay, weird.

so i have been listening to mae while i update my blog, I wonder why. :D

Isolation

Yes, that is what I am doing. Staying away from people and staying in my room. Been sick. Yesterday was my first day out and i barely survived. Stayed in my room until 4pm and went out to do some shopping for school and barely made it. I am really annoyed about being sick. I got some chesty cough syrup to help me out. I don't like coughing. It is like the coughs i used to get when i was younger where it hurt my whole back and felt like it was ripping my throat open. yeah, not fun. But hopefully this works, if not, well, I guess I am going to the doctors. Not really thrilled about that notion. Horrible.

So, everyone else is enjoying the beautiful weather and hanging out in the sun on the grass but I'm stuck here in my room. Kinda of depressing. Catching up on shows and movies though. lol. Getting ideas for photographs, getting work done. Kinda of. lol.

I hope and pray that the stupid ashes leave and never come back. I don't want my flight home delayed or canceled because I would seriously will cry...It canceled my trip to Ireland this morning. I gotta go and reschedule it for another date. I need to go to Ireland. My last mission here. :D

Sorry for the lack of updates, sick and feeling sorry for myself has taken over my life the past few days. lol. I know, i am lame but sometimes you feel that way.

Time to get some more work done. Hope you have been checking my flickr and my facebook fan page! :D Enjoy it.

Love
Marianna

listening to mae

and i'm falling asleep. they are too relaxing. lol. Less than two hours before mom lands. :D I don't have to be at school until april 26th to turn in my paper. then the first week of may i posting up my final and doing my presentation then i am done. :D I am super excited. I am need a break from school and thinking over here. then i get to be home with people. it will be nice not to worry about topping up my phone and all that stuff. not worrying about walking a miles to the store. lol I can just call up mom and have her get it for me or i can DRIVE there. wooo. driving. i am a bit scared of that. lol. I wonder how i will do on freeways. lol.

okay...writing isn't helping me stay awake. so i am going to read, i guess. lol.

good night.


love,
marianna

omg, so long time no update.

wow, i haven't updated more than a week. You probably thought I was dead. I wasn't. lol. Just crazy busy with mom and virg. A whirlwind week. Seriously. So I will break it down again.

Tuesday:
Worked with Ian and Emma on updating their database, helping out with their facebook account, and other stuff. Got home around 7 then went to the LRC to drop off a book then to Asda. I didn't get back to my room until late.

Wednesday:
I picked up mom and virg at the airport. Didn't back until 4pm here. Had dinner and stayed in their room until 8:30pm then walked back to my room.

Thursday:
Shopping day and walking around hatfield. Went to Asda, town centre, the galleria, and St Albans. Then they came back to my room so i could pack and they got to see my tiny room. lol.

Friday:
Early start. Went to Victoria Station then to Windsor Castle, Bath Spa, and Stonehenge. Then got the bus back to Hatfield around 8 45. Didn't get back to the room until 10pm.

Saturday:
London! Went to the British Museum, and walked around parts of London. ;) Mom got her first experience with the underground system and she didn't like it that much. lol. Got home kinda of late.

Sunday:
Late start. Did my laundry and all that fun stuff in the morning. Went to the Hatfield House and walked around there. Went to the galleria to have dinner.

Monday:
Cardiff. Early train ride to London kings cross then tube to paddington station. Then 2 hour train ride to Cardiff. Doctor Who Exhibit which was tiny and the millennium centre. :) Home LATE!

Tuesday:
LONDON! Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, House of Parliament, Eye of London, Westminister Abbey, and Horse Guard place. Then went shopping in Soho and Oxford. Spent 89 pounds on developing film and mom got me some awesome vans shoes! :D

Today:
Dropped mom and virg at the airport. D: They upgraded to business class so they got nice stuff. boo on them. Then came back to my room and been working on my laptop since then. wowie. I might read some of my book. I have been thinking about how i am going to pack up my stuff and i am scared. lol. I thinking about donating a lot to charity shops here. lol. Everything is clean and new. I am giving it away to friends as well.

Tomorrow:
Asda run, and post office. Expect postcards soon.

Friday:
London and photoshoot

Saturday:
nothing

Sunday:
Photoshoot

Monday:
going to the studio and hanging out with Kaz

Tuesday:
working on final stuff

Wednesday:
working for ian

Thursday to Saturday
DUBLIN!

Sunday nothing

Monday: turning in my paper and photoshoot.

:D

Almost done with school here. omg. then freedom! :D

Update

sorry, i haven't updated in here for awhile. it has been crazy since monday night when i went to scotland. lol

I will begin with Monday night.

Monday was quite strange. It was the day they were supposed to do the room inspection so i had to get out of my room around 10am but i didn't notice the sign on the door saying it was canceled. i could have slept in. So annoyed by that. But anyways, I went into the LRC and worked on my papers for my finals. finished those and went to ASDA to pick up some stuff that I forgot to get. I sat around my room until about 7 then walked to the bus stop to get the 797 to Victoria station. Bus ride took about a hour then got to the Coach station around 8 something. Read until 10pm when I went crazy because I was sitting so long. Talked to my mom then finally boarded the bus around 11 30ish. The bus left at 11:45pm. Yeah, so this drunk scottish man sat by me. talked for a bit then fall asleep. He then hit me during the night with his name while sleeping. then fall on me and was in the space so i had to push him. it was quite a horrible night. felt so gross by the end of it.

Was late when I arrived in Glasgow on Tuesday morning. It was snowing during parts of Scotland that we were passing through. It was all white. I was freaking out because I didn't bring warm warm clothes there. lmao. But it was not snowing in glasgow, oh i was so happy. Finally got off the bus and rush to the toilet. I didn't use the toilet on the bus. NASTY. Drunk man went in there and lots of other people. eewwww. After that i went to the hotel. It wasn't a far walk from the Bus Station to their hotel. I was happy when i got there. Finally could relax. Had breakfast at the buffet downstairs with Vicki and John. We meet up with Libbi at the concert hall which was right across the street from bus station, lol.

It was great seeing Libbi. She has grown up dude. I couldn't believe it when I saw her. She is a young woman. AHHH! So crazy!! I got to follow her around the convention and meet the other dancers from her school. I watched them practice later that night. It was great. We got to hang out after dinner that night. :)

Wednesday was her competition. She did good during her run but did not get recalled back for the third round. But she was wonderful. It was so great seeing her dance. We had fish and chips that night :) It was fun. Stayed at the venue all day.

Thursday woke up late and hang out at the concert hall. Watched them practice for a bit, and some other stuff i dont remember. lmao. We went to a pub late that night before I left. I left around 10pm to head to the bus stop which was two blocks from the pub. They overbooked the stupid bus so they had to get two more buses to come to transport everyone back to Victoria Coach Station. lmao.

The bus ride wasn't bad going home. I got back to London around 630am then tried to find my way around. it was confusing and i was so tired. I was going to take the bus at 724am back to hatfield but the never showed. I waited there until 9am. Then i took the underground to oxford street and picked up my film then took the train back to hatfield. got back to the train station in hatfield and stupid 603 never showed so i had to take another bus to the town center, got some food then walked home. i didn't get back until after 1pm. here. yeah. i was died. lol

I've been dead all weekend. Lazy and unmotivated. Saturday i went to st albans and rush out of my room. My room had my dirty clothes everywhere, stuff everywhere on my bed. Then when I got back here, my door didn't open for me. so i had to hunt down someone. lmao. i was glad i found a flatmate and they knew a RA. So, he came and found out my key was fine but it was my door. waited a hour to get back to my room. the dude who fixed it saw my nasty room. lmao. then after he left i went to do my wash. i left my coin bag in the laundry room and didn't realize it until i went down to dry my clothes. then when i was walking up the stairs i fall. lmao. flat on my face. Then my lovely friend came to pay a visit, lmao. yeah, not fun.

Yesterday, i stayed in my room all day. didn't get out of bed until 11 and then took a shower and sat in front of my computer watching Doctor Who and other shows. lmao. Yeah, awesome. LAZY me. but i did fix one of my papers :)

Now, it is monday, i'm still in my room but i did go out for a bit. I'm just still unmotivated. I just wish it was freaking wednesday already man!! i get to see my mom!!! :D

okay, well that is it. lmao. :D Probably more to update later when some else fails. lmao. :)

Oh yeah, hope everyone had a lovely Easter. :)


Love,
Marianna

got my 120mm color film back and it isn't that bad :D

look....



scans aren't that great but the prints look good. debating on blowing it up big but i don't know if your eyes go directly to the light. argh. :/ need to take some more this weekend. :)

life

is crazy. that is all i have to say. tomorrow night heading to glasgow be back on friday. :D expect photographs.

good and the bad

lmao. I haven't written in here for a few days which is bad. i should be writing more. :)

So, Monday I am going to glasgow to see Libbi and Vicki. I am thrilled! :) I miss them. I haven't seen them since Shannon was married. how long ago was that? 2 years? oh dude, i don't know even know. how bad is that. I am great sister, not. I come back thursday night and arrive back in London at 8am or something once I get dropped off at the bus station then going to get my film and see if it is a disaster. Then it would be only 5 days until my mom comes here and virgie. omg, i am thrilled. so happy! going exploring them. I hope I don't get us lost. lol. :)

Then after that I am going to Northumberland then helping Ian then Ireland then back to school. omg, this is so amazing. I am going to die. Then after that i just have a week to get thing done. then finals. then freedom. feedback on may 27/28 then nfg concert. then packing to go home. oh shit. i will be home. i am definitely going to come back to england to visit everyone. i met some really great people like Kaz, Ian and Emma, Charlie and other level one kids. Some level two kids too. But i am ready to go home and finish my freaking degrees!!! Then going for my master, maybe in England or maybe on the east coast, or just in San Francisco. Whoever will take me. lol. Then Ph.D lmao. yeah right like I could really get a PhD. in Art History. that would be amazing. :)

So I got three rolls developed of my 120mm film in color, i am just scared how they turned out because i guess the exposure because it was dark and i didn't have a light meter. so i think i over exposed them so maybe they will turn out cool!! I need to get at least three good ones to scan and then printed out. 36 inches by 36 inches. should be good. 3 feet. oh dear. i wonder how much it is going to cost me. lmao.

I have finished my essay, just have to re read it, the presentation is halfway done, i have to write a 500 word essay and then i have to answer the questions for my final and i will be complete with all my school work for the rest of the semester. wowie. i can't believe it. I am actually surviving this year abroad. i didn't think i could take it but i am. wow.

crazy crazy.

It is Wednesday

and I'm still on my high from Monday which is amazing. I am so thrilled about everything that is happening except spending all my money on my film. yup, about to run out of money soon, I am so thankful that my mom is going to help me out. :) She is amazing. 14 days until she comes and visits me. AHHH! I can't wait.

I will be home in 73 days! WOWIE! This is bloody insane. I'll be leaving here for good until I find out a way to get money. lol. I think I am going to keep my oyster card if i ever decide to come back to London. lol. :D I think I would come back to visit the people I got to know here. They made this experience amazing. I know I had a lot of rough times that happened and things have changed but I think it has really helped me. Now, I get in your face. just kidding. lol.

Tomorrow, i'm going back to London pick up my film and drop off more film from tonight I hope. We just keep on going and going. I finish my essay and now I have to get the bibliography done and the illustration list. YAY! Then that is completed. Then onto the essay for Enterprise and Employability and presentation. After that writing up the answers for my final assessment! :) YAY! then finished with school. not really. I have to get three photographs ready for the end. Three large scale photographs!

Anywho, I am going to work on the bibliography. take care all. miss you all.

love,
marianna

today

must have been one of my best days here. omg, i can't believe. i feel good. i feel like i conquer things now. I booked my trip to Ireland with Tina. I got a good review in my tutorial. I almost cried because she loved my work. She asked if I was going to continue working in film and with night photography. I was like YES! then she was like are you going for your master and i was like yes I am but I don't know where though. She told me i should go for my master. She was really amazed by the photographs. I was so shocked. it really helped my confidence. wowie.

tomorrow. london, to get some film developed and to get color 120 film. :D Mr. Darcy and I going to have a lovely week. Cambridge on Friday. Next Monday night I'm heading ot Glasglow so now updates. Then my mom will be here. :D hd;ha;dga;gadkjf;alk! super excited.

love,
Marianna

new camera :)

YAY! Medium Format!!! Going to test this baby out on Tuesday night. :D

so i found

the camera i want to purchase but it cost too much money. :(

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290412988730&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT

what to do...

it will produce the negative size i need to blow them up to have clean sharp images. argh. annoying.

Well

I'm missing my grandpa's funeral right now. this really sucks. :(

not enjoying

I am not enjoying taking photographs anymore. I'm annoyed with everything I have been producing lately. ALL OF IT IS SHIT. HORRIBLE SHIT. I am just blah. Diana photographs, shit, Holga photographs, shit, digital photographs, shit. grr. Everything is bloody bad or not in focus or pixels. ARGH. WHY CAN'T A FIND A PLACE THAT HAS GOOD QUALITY WITH SCANNING NEGATIVES AND MAKING DIGITAL IMAGES. argh. I miss my old places i went too. I miss my scanner and printer at home. I miss a lot of things. This is not what I want to be producing. Why can't i get it right? Should i still do photography or give it all up and stick with art history? This is just a shitty day. real shitty. The prints cost 60 pounds which is like around 100 dollars. argh. argh. argh. Just shoot me. I need to put the aperture to 22 or higher and let it go. I need a cable release. I need why?!?!?! seriously. i want to punch something right now.

I'm sick of everything. I need my mom to come sooner than later. I wish it was April 7th. or At least March 30th so I can see Libbi and Vicki. Some familiar faces. I'm sick of it here. :(

Might be giving up. :(

Jane Austen

makes me smile. :D Watching Pride and Prejudice. :)

feeling better

feeling better today. heading to bed soon. Gotta wake up early for lecture tomorrow. Not really thrilled about it.

- Jane Austen, Persuasion, Ch. 23 -

"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight and a half years ago. Dare not say that a man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant."

no more grandparents

omg, i have no living grandparents anymore. how could this be. i know this is life but dude. since i started at SJSU i lost all my grandparents. a generation gone. My grandpa didn't even get to meet Connor while he was alive. omg, how is this working. i'm away from my mom when she needs me, i can't get a flight home because I know she wants me to stay here and experience this but seriously how can this happen. Everything bad has happened since i left. Why did I even study abroad this year? I am not there. The hardest part of this whole studying here is not being there for those who I love to death. It is worse thing in the world. Not having the power to be there and physically being there. It is like daggers to the heart. being 5,000 miles away really sucks. I'm alone here. FUCK. dude. this really blows chunks.

.....

they never saw the person i have become and who i might become. My grandma never got to see me actually achieve my goal of traveling around Europe, my grandpa won't be able to see anymore photographs I have taken from these county and near would his girlfriend. it is depressing.

fuck, i'm so fucking lame right now. i just need to stop thinking.

love,
marianna.

Blog from Berlin!

Here are the journal writings I did in Berlin:

Saturday Night March 6th:

Okay hostels are a scary thing. They lied about how their place is. Lmao. We are in mixed room with guys. Yes three British guys and I totally called it too. They seem nice and are leaving early in the morning which is a plus. I wonder if there is going to be another bunch of people comm g in. No more guys. Germany wasn't what I expected. Ended up in the ghetto like Tina and I always do. This is like a first for both of us here. It is an amazing city but I am terrified about it at nigt. The shady ass people come out. I am very thankful for Tina. I am going to buy her a beer and a sausage tomorrow. Lol.

The bar is creepy. I am not a person who drinks or anything so that was totally different. I am out of my element rift now. It is creeping me out. I don't know why but I am not scared with thes guys in the room. Maybe because they are twigs and I could probably beat them up. I know I am so werid but different seaniros play in my mind. I am not tired even though I should be dead on the ground right now. Oh yeah by the way I am sleeping on the top bunk of the bed. I am growing up. I feel like a fat ass because the bed creeks when you move but it creeks with everyone.

Oh yeah I predicted the people who were staying in here where British becuase of the coffee cups and bottle of water eerywhere. Lol also there was cigarettes on the window seal. Lol. I am learning to find clues to see who people are. Interesting. Lol. I could do a book on that. Stereotyping people but objects. I wonder if I would get beat up for doing that. Lmao. Pondering that notion right now.

We had a interesting time walking around the whole city. Amazing. But we saw a lot of places. I swear that I was going to take more photgraohs but I didn't. Kinda of depressing but I am going to go all out tomorrow when we hit up the museums and churches. Insane. I want to find the wall and take a photo there. :D we might be heading back to England on Monday because I think we are going to finish seeing everything soon which is amazing. We are crazy walking machines here dude. Tina and I do easily ten miles a day or more. Venice we did about 14 miles almost 15 in one day. Crazy crazy.

I am really scared about the shower thing tomorrow. Argh. Period and shower in a community shower of course what else would it be. a nice shower with soap and lovely stuff. I hope I don't have to take a shower. Lmao. Not take a shower until Tuesday or Monday when we leave.

Well I guess I shloud sleep now. The boys are getting up around six or earlier. Lovely.

Good night.
Love Marianna

---------------

Sunday March 7th:

Today is day two in Berlin. No shower today which fucking sucks ass. Sorry for my language but dude seriously. I need to shower. I am on my friend and not feeling clean already come onan. Rushed out of the hostel and ate the shitty breakfast. Oh yeah I didn't even brush my teeth today. I wonder how bad my breathe is right now.
tina was all likeets take the ten thirty walking tour and stuff by the way we didn't get out of bed until fifteen past nine. So rushing and changing clothes is not a fun thing in a room with a girl you don't know sleeping. Horrible. Guess what I was snoring too crap. So embarrassing. I am going to die tonight. I bet people were making fun of me because I would too. Oh dear.

We gt downstairs, no shower no brushing my teeth, and throwing on clothes. We eat the shitty breakfast. Cheese and bread with a hard boiled egg. Then drunk some crappy wate and headed off for the lovely day.

We didn't end up taking the walking tour because of tina's hip and we got a city tour bus which was on and off free jumping thingy which cost about fifteen euros each not bad.

Got to see check point Charlie. It was interesting place.

City tour around

Humbolt uni
Plaza
Shopping
And other stuff

Tina is sick which blows. Sleeping early and waking up early. Take care land of nothing right now.

-------

Monday March 8th:

Bathroom in middle of the night. Weird. Making too much noise. Wanting a nice shower at the current moment and I think Tina is really getting sick dude. She looks like she is going to throw up. Not cool at all. :(

Breakfast time

---More to come when I type up the other one because I wrote it in my book---

getting tired

so, i am slowly getting tired right now. I am ready to take a long nap soon before I have to finish getting ready for Berlin. I can't believe i am going. I can't believe it. My passport is getting its third stamp from another country!!! SUPER EXCITED! This is insane that i am traveling around so much. I need to get some german words but Tina has taken German for 6 years so hopefully she can help me out dude. lol. :) It is going to be amazing. I just can't wait. oh man oh man. BERLIN! :D


Well, I think i am actually going to take a quick nap in like 10 minutes. :D

Saturday = Berlin

So i won't be writing in here for awhile. I"ll be in Germany. I will keep a log on my ipod about the events or on a piece of paper!!! :D I miss you all!!!

here is a snapshot from my mini diana.


:D

more to come later.

Love,
marianna

flying by

the days are flying by and everything is getting smashed together. i thought i was went london earlier in the week but it was yesterday. i am so confused. I am doing so much and I think I need a break soon. lol. Berlin is going to be awesome. so much to see and to take photographs of. I am getting a mini tripod tomorrow. it should be sweeet! i am scared about getting my photographs tomorrow. :( I think my film is goign to suck. but it is okay.

I am getting tired. so i'm signing off and heading to bed. waking up early in the morning like always. tomorrow is lots of shopping and getting things ready. I need to see if can get enlargements tomorrow. argh.

Love,
Marianna

feelin' good..

i am so thankful for my tutor. i wrote her email about going to germany and doing night photography with film and send her a link to the stuff online. she wrote this back:

Hey, way to go, well done.
Linda

Made my day! :D I got lots of film from the lomography store, they are super cool there. i guess there is a huge one in LA! I wish I lived in LA! lmao. :D I can't wait for this weekend. lots of photographs!

Love,
marianna

Germany!

Germany Saturday to Tuesday!!! I am super excited! I am going to take my mini diana and film camera! It should be awesome!!! :D Plus my little digital camera! I hope it all fits in my backpack.

slept in till noon

yes, i did, oh, i did. i slept in till noon and it was beautiful! i loved it. I got the sleep i needed. This week is going to be crazy too. Tuesday London, Wednesday working with Ian and Emma, and Thursday hopefully heading to Germany. CRAZY! :D


this is me being crazy.

stayed in my room all day. in my nice comfy pjs. so lovely so lovely.

:D

Love,
Marianna

interesting

so, today was an interesting day. Accomplished a lot of things and also didn't do a lot of things. Tomorrow should be interesting. Art Talk. I am going to have to go. i haven't gone for the last two. They are horrible and painful.

Anywho, take care everyone. I am going to wait for shannon's phone call then sleeep!

Love,
Marianna

Oh London, you are so beautiful.

So, today was rainy but we still went to London. Guess what? London was beautiful, oh course! :D We got lost looking for Photographers' Gallery which I might saw was kinda of disappointing. I thought there was going to be more photographs and level. It is tiny. The bookstore had all the lovely cameras that I wanted such as Blackbird, Fly, mini Diana, the 3D holga, and all the flashes and filters!!! I didn't go crazy, thank you. I got the mini Diana though. It is the Best and cutest thing ever!! I can't wait to take photographs tomorrow around Hatfield in the town center tomorrow. :D

So between going to the Photographers' Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery, Tina decided to take photographs of couple, those cute ones around all the touristy areas. So, she used my digital canon powershot because she forgot to put a card in her camera. so we walked around there doing that. I got some shots of them as well later on in the day. They were so cuuute! Tina got the Blackbird,Fly and used it. We are going to get the film developed tomorrow. it should be good. :) Here is a photograph that i took:


Aren't they so cute. I hope they don't facebook this and see this or on blogspot. lmao.

Once we were done the galleries and eating, pizza hut (it was good going down but my stomach got upset, blah, no more of that stuff). We walked to Chinatown, and i took this...

I can't believe i got it!!! I was so thankful!

Gots lots of books and magazine. All full of wonderful photographs and articles. Going to finish reading them tomorrow and work on my essay. blah. I did start my presentation for my enterprise and employability which i am thankful for. So now i don't have to that much work later on. Just keep updating it as time goes by.

Well, it is time to chat with Nes for a bit then sleep. :) Tomorrow should be an interesting day.

Love,
Marianna

Good and the Bad

The story of my life for the next couple of months. I had a really good with Ian and Emma. I helped with their database, then with facebook, linkedin, blog, and some other random stuff. Oh yeah, labeling CDs. I learned a lot about the business aspect of it. The whole networking, and organization. Can't wait to help them again.

So, the bad news, my grandpa has only two weeks to live. He has heart failure, kidney failure, liver failure, and all the nasty stuff. :( Depressing. I hope everyone will be okay. :( Wish I could just fly home and stuff to see mom but i know she wouldn't want me too unless she asked.

Now, I'm just in my room listening to music and trying to read for my essay. I just can't get the right groove for reading. lol.

Time to get dedicated to this. :D

Love,
marianna

ever so sweet....

"ever so sweet...
you make this seem
the way things go
its not my fault
and i'll miss
i'll miss you so good
through all of those nights
we lost our way back home

ever so sweet
you baked it in cakes for me
were you left behind
it hurts my teeth
bringing the past
with the postcard you sent for me
every line
it brings me right back down"
-the early november

Today was interesting. I woke up to it snowing and it was cold enough for it to stay on the ground. I was so not thrilled to go out there in there. i was feeling sick this morning and i didn't appreciate it. I'm feeling better but still kinda of sick. blah.

Tonight, I went to the lecture about "If God really is there - why on earth doesn't he just prove it?"It was really interesting. Different aspect be said a different way. I loved how the guy said Christian. I am going to say it to everyone. Christ-chi-an. lol. i hope i hope it looks like how you guys are trying to say it. :) We watched a little video about about how god/jesus changed people. So one side of the sigh would say what they were and the other would say what they are now. It was really touching. I almost cried. Just everything going on and knowing the relief once i pray every night and during the day when I am struggling. Dude, I struggle. It is like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. God is truly amazing. I know I am not really extreme religious person. I want to be know more but He is helping me. Letting me get into contact with my family and helping me get the courage to do half of the stuff I am doing. I think the girl I went with didn't think I was a Christian or anything. She was like if you want to go any of the other lecture you can. funny.

I was so happy i got to talk to Laura yesterday. It was really nice, I haven't talked to her forever and ever. I really missed her terribly. I miss our nightly phone calls and random phone calls during the day. I know it won't change that much when she gets married i hope :)

I can't wait for June. I know I sound bad about saying it but dude, you can get pushed to your limits and it is working well. I am like dying part of the time trying to get out of the town but I don't have a travel buddy like last semester. Where every weekend was full of something like London, School Trips, or movies, or exploring some place random. I need to do that again. Maybe this weekend I will try to go to Leeds Castle or something. I hope next week I can go to Germany for four days. Only 70 pounds. :I I really excited if I get to go. Then Scotland to see Libbi. Then Mom and VIRGIE!!! AHHH! I can't wait for that. Then about three weeks after that I get to see my dad! then after that HOME! Three weeks after that. home back to California for a good while. :) Then I would love to travel again. To Canada, and Mexico, and Hawaii again. I miss Hawaii. :D YAY!

OKay, I am going to go and read for a bit because It is getting late. I miss you all.

Love,
Marianna

P.S. Email me if you want my state number to call my skype! it is 408 number so it isn't international call!

The List of Food...

:D

My list of food when i come back:
Ice Cream Cake
Pho
Mexican Food
Bacon
In N Out
Papa John
Pasta Salad
Denny's
Daphne's
Chiptole
Baja Fresh
See's Candy
Jade's Garden
Tacos
Enchiladas
Chili
Jack in the Box
Chicken BBQ
Lumpa
Spaghetti and meatballs
Cheesy Garlic Bread
Chili Dogs with Cheese
Potstickers
Cheesecake Factory
Bubble Drinks
Crispy Chicken
Togo's
Stephie's Chicken Sandwich

man

I look like President Obama when I am in my C&CS class....


"President Barack Obama leans backward as Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel speaks during a National Economic Council and Domestic Policy Council planning meeting in the Roosevelt Room of the White House, Feb. 11, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House."


WHAT THE HECK I AM GOING TO DO!?!?! lmao. Yeah, I am awake and it is 9:37am. My two loads or wash are in the washer right now! :) Only person awake. Everything is silent right now bu I am starting to hear some noises. I am waiting to get tickets for NFG concert in May! :D It should be amazing. Plus it is on my campus. i just have to walk or take the shuttle over there! I just need my key to my room, money, and camera. lol. No purse with everything in it. I am LLIKE WOOOOO HOOO! :D Plus no one will really be here because the last day of school is May 28th! ahhh! I am going to rush NFG and give them all hugs. lol.

there was a long break before i came back to this entry. lol. I finished my wash, cleaned my bathroom and room, organized things and everything seems to be in the right order. :) It feels good. Every weekend it is like a major clean to make things look right. Now it is time to start the real day and get cracking on my essay. Might walk over to College Lane LRC to get some of the work done. boo. But it will help. All the art books and stuff are in there. It sucks I am on the business campus but who cares. lmao.

Off to start the day. The beautiful sun is out which means PHOTOGRAPHS LATER! I will put my photographs from film on my flash drive and upload them to facebook in the LRC. :) Unless I can try it here again. hmmm. i am going tooo! okay byeeee!

Love,
Marianna

not giving up

I am not giving up. Yet again disappointed at people but I guess it is life and I need to figure out a way not to feel as bad. I hate the feeling of utter disappointment. I am getting sick of it.

I am too far to help anyone back. I am trying to keep occupied and not think about what is happening back in California but it is always there. There is a heavy weight on my shoulders and heart. It is just slowly breaking. I am finding that school is becoming my worst enemy here. I am in a need to get out of here and travel and get some fresh air and be away from people.

I just need a break but it don't happen like always. I will find something else I have to get done. So horrible. I still have to email my tutor about my essay to make sure that I am going to be doing it right. I have a critique in two weeks. I am going to be helping Ian on next tuesday. I am trying to get photographs done. I am trying to figure out what the heck i am trying to get out this course. I need to find my voice but everywhere I look it is gone. I need to find a way to convey these thoughts to my tutors to know that I am actually thinking critically about my work and I am not a loser from California. I feel like that half the time. Yeah, my confidence hasn't grown at all. It is getting smaller and smaller as I take each new photograph. It isn't an extension of me but something I dear to hide from. The joy that once was there is slowly fading away and it is really depressing. I never knew how bloody emotional i am but i am and i hate it. I am not going to lose it over here. I am going to try to get into the right groove and finish this semester off with a higher grade than last semester. I need to succeed.

I am not giving up. I am going to crash this with my ability to succeed in my photography. To excel in my essay writing and research. To tell people what I think about your work. I have to be open to expressing my emotions and feelings to people and tell them to shut up. lmao. Yeah, I need to be rude and crude half the time. Don't worry I am changing but I think for the better. This experience is really showing me that I want to help people in what they do in photography rather than crash every little hope and feelings towards art. I want to help criticize their work but also give them the ADVICE AND HELP that they deserve, not just saying oh this can work and telling you want to do. Oh yeah, "find your voice, make it magical, unique". great way to be vague don't you think. It kill hurts me. but whatever. This is making me stronger and I am going to fight it and be confident in my work. The color and temperatures in the work see how magical yet scary England is. I could have done this at home which I am going to this summer. So you guys better get ready for late nights with after I get adjusted to the time change. lmao.

I think i vented enough for one day. I could keep on writing and exploding a bunch of crap on here. But I won't. I need to toughen up.

Hope you all have a great day.

Love,
Marianna

Disappointed

I have been disappointed in a lot of things lately. It really blows. I am starting to hate it but I am trying to be cheery all the time. Kinda of sucking the life out of me. I am trying not to think that i am not there with my mom and helping her out, that my grandpa is dying slowly in the hospital, that my best friend stephie is having a having a hard time, and things are just moving too slow and out of control.

I just want everything to sort itself out. I am just getting tired and I am not sleeping well even though I get my eight hours or more. I have giant bags under my eyes and I look creepy. Yes, i do. It is really d

i don't know what to do

i really don't know what to do. this blows. :(

school=pain

i can't believe i want this semester to end already. i have so much but i am stuck to where to start. AHHH! i have presentation monday, march 5 critique, then middle of march midterm, then april spring break and essay dude, then presentation for employablitiy, and final. argh.

time to go and read some more.

R.I.P. BJ

You will be missed BJ. I will always remember the cakes you used to make when I came to visit you and letting me hang out with you. Sorry I never came back down to visit you. Sorry :(

Now, my mom has the task of telling my grandpa, who has Congestive Heart Failure and pneumonia right now, that his girlfriend/significant other for the last 10 years or more has died. They are going to have sedatives ready when they tell him. My heart is breaking about this. I am trying not to think about any of this but it is so hard. I feel so terrible that I am not there for my mom right now. I am over 5,000 miles away. I just hope my sisters will help her out. They are having her funeral on Friday. :( I am so sad. I just hope my grandpa is strong enough to survive hearing this. Ahh.

So not a good day today. :(

want this to be my new home...

the moat path at windsor which you can't go through. had to look over a stone wall. lmao. :) I really wish I could stay there for a whole night and just walk around. spent over 4 hours there today. :) Really amazing.

killer

presentation = horrible. hanna and i presenting in front of like 60 people. not good. product got thrown apart. all questions were directed to me. i wanted to die. someone laughed and i glared at her and she shut up. lmao. only one laughing. i hope someone slapped her. killer look will win. lmao.

Got two books and three movies. lol. :)

I love this image: Goodbye by Anita Mejia


I love her.

okay, time to read. byeee

Since Valentine's day is Sunday...

I decided I should post this up:
"'...Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?'
Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
"Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.""
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

LMAO! I love Cassandra Clare. Amazing author! :)

slap me

i am going to get out of this funk. i blame school right now. reading and reading sucks. i am sick of it. i am sick of baby chairs. i hope i don't have to see one for a long time. so annoying. ahhh.

i am missing SAP Open right now. No Andy Roddick this year. lmao. But Windsor Castle saturday. My only refuge right now.

Gotta go back to reading. copyright. boo. patent. boo.

so tired of this week already

Let me tell you about group work here. it consist of Hanna and I doing most of the work it feels like. ahhh. i am just tired of this already. i just want it to be friday so i can sleep. i want to sleep forever and ever. i am typing this with my eyes closed right now and i wnat to see how much i mess up. i didn't mess up badly. i can't handle this stuff anymore. i want to go to ireland and relax for a week .just sitting on a porch somewhere and looking at the landscape and taking photographs. can this happen soon? i sweari should just go there in may and forget about hte feedback. who cares about germany and france. i will go later on abut ireland sun beach and irish accent will help me through this. lmao.

can i just fade away into the sunset and forget about this world and money and just live off of my photographs and how much they can sell for? i would really appericate it. no more school no more stupid people who think resrach is a hard thing to do and ahgha;gkaka! i am just so over this week right now. i want it to end.

they dont' have the sense of reality of what the world is really like here. They don't understand how things like this can make or break you. they just get little concepts. I guess i don't get the huge concepts in art but at least i know i can survive in the art business because i know how to do things. thank god, for working for hte bank and having mom to help me out. seriously . they freak out about the stupidest hting. omg, reading for a class, it is unheard of. AHHH. This is when I miss amaerica. I want my classes and structure. I miss my Art History teachers and Photography teachers. You never know what you had until you lose it and it is freaking true over here. I am just like freaking out about everything right now.

I have no idea if anything made sense in the entry but i am listneing to music and writing without really look ing on the computer screen and like the words flow from the mind an onto the jounrla. i mam trying to relax and not have to deal with this anymore. If it is out of my head then i won't have to deal with it. I am just blah.

I am so thankful jean was online while typing this. i was chatting with her.

Great now my hard drive is almost full!!! ;( I gotta find a place to get an external hard drive for my mac. Maybe i gotta go to the mac store this weekend or next week. :(

okay, i gotta clean out my hard drive really fast to see if i can delete anyhting. boo.

so venice

It was completely amazing.

i have a list of things i want to write about it but it seems like I never have time. I might have time later this week. This enterprise week is going to take up most of my day. We are at school from 10am to 5pm!everyday. what the fuck. i can't believe it. I just want to work on my night photography and not deal with this but nope. can't get my wish done. booo.

Everything is good. Just sleepy and tired from everything that has been happening. I am going to Windsor castle on Saturday. so fun. I am so happy.

Well, I am going to get going. I need to edit photographs.

Love,
Marianna

Venice

Gonna be in Venice until Sunday Morning!!! :D Will update everyone then!

found out...

some stuff about my photography today.

New Things:
- Light
- Contrast between Warm Colors and Bleak Feeling
- Film Noir
- Psychological/Seductive

LMAO. yeah that is the feelings you get and my somewhat analysis with a tutor...

My Motifs/What i do:
- Line?
- Light
- Urban/Buildings
- Dark/Creepy
- Solitude

yeah. so fun. lmao.

Tomorrow is getting a dress, uploading photographs, taking photographs of someone then packing for italy. :D

Oh dear.

Time to watch some more of transformers then sleep.


Love,
Marianna

yet again

another tutorial. ahhh! Two this week, class, and critique. what else can they throw at me?!?!!

OH yeah, I am writing an essay on Light. It is my obsession. funny really but it is. okay. yeah. Also, doing research on it. Looking a articles in psychology about how light affects emotions and all that lovely stuff. Case studies too. :) sweeet.

Everyone check out Uta Kogelsberger she is amazing photographer! I love her work. I checked out her book from the library and going to read it tomorrow and writes lots of notes about it.

Now, time to watch a movie and relax.

Love you all and miss you tons.

Love,
Marianna

ahhhh!

I MISS SARA!!!! :(((((((

crazy dreams

i had some crazy dreams last night totally freaked me.

Transformers Rise of the Fallen is AMAZING. Might watch it again today before it expires. I want the movie. LOL.

So my dream:
I was dreaming that I was sleeping. I woke up and I was at home sleeping with the dogs. I was like WTF. I can't be here, I need to be in England and thinking I must be dreaming. Then I woke up again and I was on the couch in den with sara, felt weird again then I woke up again where I was at Santa Paula house and in my parent's room and my dad was there. so weird. then I was like I should be in England then I woke up again and I was in Bahamas going into a hotel with Dad and Pat. Then I kept trying to wake up and going different places. It literally had to wake myself up. It was freaking me out. Keep feel like I am waking up but in different places and times. SO WEIRD!

Yeah. not enjoying it.

Going to start doing photographs like this... maybe...



let me know what you think. time to go back reading magazines about photography then picking up my package then back for my tutorial. lol.

I did it

i got the tattoo!!!



I can't believe i did it. yes, it did cost a bit of money but i think it is worth it. No more spending money on anything but trips or school. :) I am glad i got it

List of things i did today:
- burnt mouth with hot chocolate at the train station
- went to the gallery we were going to rent and it was scary thought i was going to get rob while walking down the street and the place was small.
- went to camden, i got my tattoo here and it has the coolest clothes ever. i almost went crazy but i didn't.

well, i am falling asleep writing this. so i am going to head to bed.

miss you all terribly.

Love,
Marianna

P.S. I want to take photographs in tube stations. :)

they kill me slowly with daggers to my heart...

so, i got my feedback and grade. it killed me a little. depressing.So she gives me my feedback. Here it is...They liked my night photography. They said i should stick with photography and not do any mediums. I should find my voice in the photographs and the photographs should be unique. I should see what I see when i take photographs and not have it emotional driven. blah blah. ahh. So more night photography and i don't know what I am going to do. :(

WHERE IS MY VOICE? HOW CAN I MAKE IT UNIQUE? this is kinda of annoying me and eating away at me...

okay. so yeah...

But i got postcards from Vanessa! WOO HOO! The card from Shannon finally! :) It made my day. I think my package that i ordered from amazon came in too! i gotta check that on Friday! Super excited!!!! ahhh.

I am going nuts. yeah, i know. i do most of the time but yeah. I gotta check out the times for the bus tomorrow morning. Gotta take the 603 to the train station to meet up with Kristina at 9:30am. blah. :D early early.

good night.

Love,
marianna


EDIT!

so this might be new tattoo:

depending on how much it cost! :D

i am going to get this...

can someone...

send this to me please?


i really want one now! :D lmao.

Had a good day. lonely and silent for the being but at the end it was good.

still going on..

so life hasn't stopped since everyone has left. It seems interesting. Talking to my flatmates more which is kinda of weird but it is good. lmao. I am so thankful that I talk to Melanie everyday since she has been gone. It is nice and routine.

I got out of my room today. It was nice. I walked on St. Albans Way. It was beautiful. I was so thankful the sun decided to make an appearance. :D so beautiful. I swear England has been really growing on my lately. The walking part. I don't feel scared at night even though i should probably but it seems nice just walking alone on a street. I don't care if people stare at me now when i take photographs. WOO HOO! :D

Tomorrow is the official start of Semester B! I find out my grade on Wednesday for my studio practices. so freaking scared about that. I have new ideas for this semester which is awesome. I think going to take more portraits to capture the person's feelings or soul or whatever something like that which i will have to bs in an artist statement. lmao.

Thanks to nes, i am listening to country songs, like Tim McGraw "Where the Green Grass Grows" and missing home. Yes, i do miss home but not that much. I miss everyone but I am not letting it consume me which is nice. I just wish people would email me or send me letters. I feel like I disconnected to the world back home. I am missing so much because the lack of communication. By time I get home I bet Virginia will have boyfriend, Jean and LaRoman will be engaged, Vanessa and Bryan will have jobs and moving into an apartment, Kelly will be so happy after finishing the externship, and Lanesa will either pregnant or will thinking about getting engaged to Shane. yes. I wonder if this will be true. 5 months is a long time. :D

Hey, maybe on the bright side, I will find a boyfriend over here. YEAH RIGHT! I am making great friends and I am going to miss them. I am scared of getting to attached to level one kids and leaving them at the end. I think i am going to cry with them. I almost did with Whitney, and Melanie. :( England makes you too sensitive i swear.

Well, I should really go to bed. I know it is almost 11pm. I was going to bed an hour ago...lmao. but then i got addicted with youtube.

like watching this...


okay.. good night. will write tomorrow during studio time :D miss you all

love,
Marianna

P.S. photograph from today!

this kinda of scares me...

i don't know...the eyes maybe...but she creeps me out.

it is from http://www.theworkshopworkbook.com/index2.php?v=v1#/home/ website...

must see...

book of eli...the end.


lmao. will write more tomorrow. so tired right now.

So tell me when you hear my heart stop....

okay, i really like that song and the part in New Moon. I think that was the best part out of the whole movie. lmao. Yeah, just being random.

I am doing better. I am not feeling as depressed as I was this morning. No one should look at my sketchbook. really bad and depressing. lol. I am going to start making collages in my sketchbook. It helps me. Also, my project "Circle" is helping me release frustration... :) I did another piece of tonight. I have 5 more to color then another part of it will be done. I hope it turns out alright.

I took some photographs on the way home when i was walking. It felt really good. I miss just walking around and taking photographs. I am debating on one day tackling the path to Welwyn Garden City. It is about 4.3 miles to the town. I think it would be cool. I would go through a lot of fields and stuff but i might die. lol. I wonder if Tina would go with me during a sunny day. lmao. :)

I am going to do a night shoot tomorrow around De Havilland Campus. I wonder how this is going to work. I might try by the scary tunnel that is near the Hotel and Forum. I wonder if I can go to the Police Station as well and take photographs. I don't know how that is going to work. If i have the guts, I can go to St. Albans and take some photographs of the Cathedral at night which is near the Town Centre and I can take the bus back to Hatfield. :) It should be okay.

Still going through with Project 365! The battle is still going on.

OH DUDE! There was a dryer battle today! Everyone was doing their wash and i needed to mine so i had to wait over 30 minutes to get a washer then another. After that all the dryers were full and people don't come back to take their laundry. Morons. Yeah, so it was like me and this dude who had to battle for them. so bad yet so funny. This Uni doesn't understand that they need more than 6 washers and dryers for over 100 something students in the one hall. People from other halls come over and wash too! SO BLAH! They need like 20 of each! Less waiting around for the washer. Or i should go back to my schedule of waking up super early on Sunday to do it.

I have been sleeping really good lately except for the last two nights. Had nightmares about the chick from the grudge and the ring. it was freaking scary. It was just her face and i couldn't get it out of my head. horrible horrible. Other than that is has been wonderful. I love my pillow. best 4 pounds i ever spent!

I ordered a new battery for my canon camera and some film! I gotta go and get my film developed tooo! :D

oh dear, I am writing a lot. I don't think I ever really updated about the Photographer, Ian. Well, HE IS THE BEST! It makes me want to do more photography with portraits. I am writing a list of things i need to get when I go home. I have a portable flash already. I just have to see if it would work with my Pentax or I should just switch to a Canon 5D Mark 2. Yeah, right. Like i have that money for it. but his photographs, bloody amazing. AHH... I am thrilled that I work very well with him. I was scared but it went well. Now i sent him more dates when i am free so hopefully something will happen again.

yeah, craziness. Dude, the chick upstairs is going nuts! Making so much noise. blah. People are moving into the flat this weekend. People left. I am really sad. Going to miss Melanie and Whitney the most! My best friends over here. Deborah and Susie too! I gotta find more people to hang out with.

It was great. The little level one kids were checking up on me. :D The other ones are talking to me more which is nice. Hopefully monday will be louder. silence at the studio kills me. i am going to put on my radio on monday. people are getting rowdy outside. annoying.

okay, i think this is a really long update! sorry! I just have so much to get off my chest about things. oh dear. I am lame. OH! I cleaned up my room so it is organized and my wardrobe looks nice!!! Tomorrow hopefully london or photographs around the area. :)


Here is a photograph from today:


This is was photograph from another day. I forgot when...:


took this while waiting for Melanie to meet me so we could get some food:

our last Mc D's run together. :(

one of the walls with my work up in the studio:

this was for my final presentation. I took down some photographs and gave them to Whitney. Last day seeing here today. :(

Depressing...
ahhh

Love,
Marianna

P.S. Listening to Avril Lavigne isn't working either. lmao.

good bye...

i really hate good byes! I feel so bad. BLAH! I wish I didn't have to say it to people. Said good bye to three friends and now another one. :( I am in a funk right now creatively because of this. Everything I write or draw is dark. i wrote a whole page of words that relate to sadness. lmao. I know I will see them again someday but I am not sure when. :(

So, I'm kinda of on my own now for awhile until I can find someone to have tag alone for night shoots. I am going to try some night photography this weekend by myself and see how it turns out and if anything happens. Just my ipod and I out for an adventure. One time, I think I am going to try to go to London by myself to the National Gallery. I think that would work. lmao.

But I need to run back downstairs to put my clothes in the dryer. I finally got room in there! :D

Will write more later tonight.

Love,
Marianna

P.S. in the presentations you go for to study abroad, they don't really actually say how hard it is to say good bye to those friends you made. It can really crush you. Also, for those who have boyfriends and girlfriends, hurts them even more too. Heartbreaking.

No more

COFFEEE...it is built up all day now i am hyper and it is bloody midnight! argh. must try to sleep soon...boooo!

this is my 200th post! OMG! 200!!!!!

going nuts

new ideas, new due dates, new stress, what else can a new semester bring? Oh yeah, NO MONEY YET TO BUY FREAKING ART SUPPLIES BECAUSE FINANCIAL AID HASN'T GONE THROUGH YET. WTF! :(

but in other news, I got a package from someone. Going to pick it up tomorrow. Super excited! WOO HOO!

Today was good until

i got a note from the university about the noise level from my flat. everyone got one. this is stupid. blah. people here suck at being quiet.

but today was good other than that. I got my stuff turned in and I assisted Ian. :D I have a long list of stuff i learned today but i will post it now or tomorrow. i'm just dying here.

so sleepy. haven't gotten enough sleep lately. blah. :D

I keep asking my mom the same question over and over again. :D

Anywho, I must be going...so sad.

Love,
Marianna

sunday

the monument
london zoo
yummy italian food
underground
circles


more to come :D

saturday

what i did:
bus trip
wellington arch
rain
lots of guards
got ran into from a guard
guards on horses
buckingham palace
scotish music
horses
big ben
river cruise
Shakespeare globe theatre
my battery in river thames
tower of london
subway
tower bridge experience
by london bridge experience too scary
back to pier
bus ride home
cranky driver



more to come!

Today was awesome.

So, you know I was so scared about helping the photographer out but it was amazing! He was super nice and has a great work ethic. Yeah, extremely helpful and willing to help me out with things! :D BONUS!

Things that happened today:

- listened to him discuss what the process of taking the photographs and how he was going to take it. He received feedback from Katie (the person who hired him) and Matt (the graphic designer for the brochure). They feed ideas off of each other.

- was the model for his test shots.
- staircase, hallway, outside, headshots, and other stuff

- helped set up for the head shots.
- lights and background

- editorial photographs
- chris brown
- Moody

- held the reflector for the editorial photographs
- followed him around

- was friendly and helped people relaxed

- Young girl (MBA Student)
- library (LRC)
- auditorium
- hallway
- 3rd floor lights in the background

- held the flast most of the day
- gave a suggestion about a pose

- took down equipment and helped out

- asked to help again on Monday :D

- get a copy of the photographs!!!

- learned about portable flash portable
- how to change strength

- reflectors

- headshots
- 45 degrees angle
- 2 strobe lights acute packs!
- umbrella
- white backdrop
- 3 positions

- group photographs.

time to go to bed soon! :D

London all day tomorrow! byeeee

scared

tomorrow is the assisting the photographer. ARGH! I don't know what to do! AHOASN:FLKAN:FAK!

But i saw these:



aren't they cute...

I've been working on school stuff since 10:30am and it is 11:15pm. ARGH. I am going insane.

Tomorrow is going to be crazier and a party too. I might stop for a bit. then weekend in London! WOOOO


Good Night all.

Love,
Marianna.

Massive Update tomorrow!

OH yeah,
-evaluations
- enterprise and employability info
- semester b
- trips

those things i have to talk about tomorrow!!

wish

i was at the beach. now it is time for bed. it is 11.15 and i am dying. good night all. tomorrow is a busy day. death maybe. lmao.

stressed out.

i have no idea what I am going to do for my final project. ARGH! It is due by Monday. FAIL FAIL! :(



i wish i was there instead of here right now.

I gotta get it done!!! RESEARCH!

Good day!

good good day! Spent a million hours in the studio. Was slightly productive. I got a lot of things done I think. lmao. But I got a phone call from the photographer i wanted to assist and I will be assisting him on friday!!! I am super excited. I am saying screw school because they don't say anything to me about it. whatever. I have to figure out what I am going to put on my wall for my final presentation. i am drawing a blank. I wonder if there was a white wall what would happen. lmao. I love hanging out in the studio with Melanie! So Much funnn!

Yeah. great day. Ended it with watching two episodes of Legend of the Seeker. Denna is a great episode!!! ahhh!!! I am so addicted to this show.

Tomorrow is Melanie birthday! She is turning 21!!!! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELANIE!

Wednesday: LONDON! GALLERIES! I might buy Art Review magazine.

Thursday: Turning in my projects!!!

Friday: PHOTOSHOOT WITH IAN SCOTT! PARTY

Saturday: LONDON

Sunday: LONDON

Monday: Assessment!

Tuesday: Assesmment

Wednesday: NOTHING

Thursday: Nothing

Friday: NOTHING!

OOOOOOOOOO


then all of my dear friends are leaving. :( GOING TO CRY but they will be happy to be back home.

i'm alive!

i just had the best talk with lanesa! Gosh, I miss her so much! Went from okay to CRAZY three conversations! what the heck. We are totally crazy then we brought in Virginia as well!!! it was so good.

i slept in this morning! it was sweeeet! Got ready and then got a phone call from Michael seeing if i wanted to go to a zoo or museum with him and Whitney. We went to the zoo!! :D

here is a link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157623182556650/

We saw lots of animals and it was crazy ride there. snow kinda of scares me. lmao. It was first time to go to the zoo in the snow! I loved the white tigerrrr.



SO awesome.

Okay, I am going to go now. I will write more tomorrow in the studio. Back to school tomorrow morning. going to get to the studio by 9:30am.

love,
Marianna

P.S. my kitchen is a giant mess again. booo.

one more day

one more day of vacation before i go back to school. Monday is going to consist of me being in the studio all day! yup all day. 9am to 5pm or a little longer! i am going to get things done. :D

TWO MORE WEEKS BEFORE MY FRIENDS LEAVE HERE. :( I AM SUPER SAD. I AM GOING TO CRY WHEN THEY LEAVE.

this sucks.

off to bed maybe.