Post from Amsterdam...

all these were written on my ipod touch and so i'm posting them up here in one giant entry! :D Enjoy.

So this is the first day in Amsterdam and we are going to miss it!! I am super sad but at least they are getting their sleep. Hopefully I can wake them soon. It is about noon here. I hate that we lose an hour here. I just want around Amsterdam.

So yesterday was pure hell!!! Flight was delayed! Two hours later we took off. It was like a twenty minutes flight lmao. One of the plane rides that I have ever been on. Then getting the train and stuff was a whole different story!!! Ahh. Someone had a wolf on their head. All the streets are in a circle and curvy. People get more annoying in the cold. Almost froze to death to get over here at the hotel but the lady was really nice and ordered us food :) she was coool. So thankful that everyone speaks English. It is like a skeleton crew here. :D what else happened yesterday...I am not sure. They have really good street signs. Straat lmao. Yeah. I am so going to learn Dutch, ja. Lmao.

I think I am going to wake them up right now....it is almost noon. I hope they won't hate me. I am putting the alarm on. Why do I always wake up early no matter what time I sleep at. Kinda of pisses me off.

I am going to be home in four days omg that is ducking crazy. Oh yeah dutch guys are really hot!!!!!!! :D I am loving it, rawr. Lmao...today is going to be awesome. We are going to stay out late hopefully :) then come back and die.

Fifteen minutes to noon... Do you think I can make it? Dude, coughing all night...Annoyed. I hope I can just upload this today. I have only two things i want to do here. Van Gogh museum and Anne Frank house :) that is all I want to do. Man, only three minutes have passed and I am just sitting here in the dark waiting and waiting.

Things:
Two hour bus ride to airport
Misspelled faye last name
Dinner at gariffe
Waited forever for the plane
Two hour delay
Passport dude hotness
Train ride
Walk to the hotel
Reaching the hotel at two am
Late dinner of pizza goodness
Television :)
Sleep
_____

Today was fun! Random things today. Went to pumerned city central and had a good time there. Freezing but fun. Dutch me and I'll creep you. :D I love 30 seconds to mars.

Things did:
Bus ride
Christmas market
Waffle of awesome.
Freezing
Ice skating
Bus ride home
Walk to hotel
Watched music videos
Faye coughed all day
Dinner at th restuarant
Watching movies :)
______

I had the scariest dream ever last night. Totally freaked myself out!!! Never eating Spainish meatballs and hot chocolate before I go to bed at night. Totally not a good mix.
______

Yay! Another day in Amsterdam and it was amazing. Anne Frank's huis was depressing an informative :) I enjoyed it. Then we walked everywhere


Things we did
Bus trip to Amsterdam
Walking to Anne Frank house
Chocolate waffle
Snowing
Getting lost
Anne frank house
Buying her diary
Walked towards van gogh museum
Snowball fight part one
Hard rock cafe
Van gogh museum
Iamsterdam sign
Walking around again
Soveunies shopping
Walking to central station
Gay market
Snowball fight part two
Mc donalds
Creme filled yummies
Hot shower :)
Pirate ship
Walking on the waterways
Bus ride back to the hotel
Closed restaurant
Late night ordering
Annoyed
Nasty garlic sauce
Fafafel fail :(
Good night rest
_____

Omg it is the last day in amsterdam i am kinda sad :( didn't really explored the whole again. Going to have today. Red Light Direct :D I am having a blast though. Yesterday was totally fun I love snowball fights woo hoo I wonder how long they are to sleep. I might go into the bar soon and relax.

I can't believe I am going to be home in two days! Omg!!!! I'll be back in the states. Blah. I am kinda of happy about someone leaving. Lmao so bad. I am going to kill someone. God, why can't people cover their mouths

I'm back in Hatfield...

I have no idea but i am sitting here and crying yet again. I don't know why. Maybe just the flight and jetlag or just being alone right now. I have no idea. I couldn't get a hold of Whitney to see what she is doing, I think she is out with Michael. Deborah went to London but I don't want to take the train there by myself. I haven't even taken a shower yet. I just finished unpacking right now and My room is still not cleaned up. This is going to be my life for the next five months. The only break i get is when I see Libbi in March then in April my mom during spring break then my dad later in April.

It just hard at times when you just sit around and think, shit, this is going to be my life. None of my friends are online because they are out having fun, can't call my mom up because she is at work, my sisters are working and have lives. I'm just stuck here in another country just dealing with emotions that come up and trying to figure out myself. I just want it to end right now. I know I will be better later on when I finally start hanging out with people again but man, it is hard. I'm like stuck at this point and I have no where to move until tomorrow. I'm sulking in my own pity. It is the worst thing to do and of all day's its bloody new year's eve! I have about 3 hours and 57 minutes before the new year and i better not be crying cause I will be pissed off at myself. I guess its time for a shower and hopefully it will wash away my blues right now. or maybe a phone call from my mom.

Happy New Year! :D

Love,
Marianna

live kicks you in the face

sometimes life really does kick you in the face. it is so hard to say bye to those who you love. I can't stand this part. Yeah, I will see everyone in JUNE but man, it is so incredibly hard to do it. I'm just sitting here trying to take up so much time so I don't have to go to the airport so early. I just hate it. I don't want to deal with it right now. Sara is giving me sad looks for the last two hours. Mom is looking more upset and she is sick. :( I just totally hate it.

Last night at Virgie's house, was horrible saying byee. I felt like I didn't get to spend any time with people...But I do get to go back to friends in england. It just so hard. blah.

I need to get out of this funk so I can handle really saying bye to my mom at the airport. it is going to kill me again. :( Already crying right now.

Next update will be in England when I get back to my room.

Love,
Marianna

Merry Christmas

i hope you all had a wonderful christmas i did! I will post up photographs and stuff later! Been too busy to do anything! :D

OMG

I AM GOING HOME TOMORROW! GOING TO BED NOW SO I CAN WAKE UP AT 3:30AM TO GET TO THE AIRPORT! I'M LIKE FREAKING OUT MAN! THIS IS SO FUN! I MISS YOU ALL.

Love,
Marianna.

Photographs and all that cool stuff will be up later this week!

back in hatfield

I'm back in Hatfield. Had a wonderful time in Amsterdam! Now, it is time to get ready to go back to California! :D

amsterdam!

I'm going to amsterdam sooon! I am about to leave my room in like 10 minutes to head over to the galleria to meet up with everyone! so insane! Then I'm going home after that trip! HOMMEEEE! :D

so weird....

so i went out to eat realllly late with Faye. i got a pizza at Frankie and Benny's restaurant. Service there kinda of sucks most of the time but tonight was interesting. The waiter was really nice guy. Kinda of funny. He got us our drinks right away and stuff. Then when we were going to order, he sits down next to me on the booth, like almost shoulder to shoulder and we order our food. lmao. while doing this, he is eating nuts from the bar. LMAO! I have no idea. But the pizza came out quickly and we were out of there within our 30 minutes. i was really surprised! but the waiter was just strange but nice. :D I gave him a 2 pound tip. lol. I know i'm a dork. yeah, it was random.

oh yeah, it SNOWED this morning! so awesome. I have some photographs I will post sometime before Friday before I leave for Amsterdam! Can you believe it? I will have gone to two different countries by Christmas! wow! Next semester is going to be crazier! more countries more opportunities! so happy!

i'm going to go to bed. goood night.

love,
Marianna

this is totally random but...

I am so confused about some of the 30 seconds to mars lyrics...they relate to bible stories then he writes he doesn't believe in god. i dont' know. i think i might be analyzing this too much. i should just go to bed...but read the lyrics...they are from their new album "This Is War".

look...
Night of the Hunter lyrics:
I was born of the womb of a poisonous spell
Beaten and broken and chased from the lair
But I rise up above it, high up above it and see

I was hung from the tree made of tongues of the weak
The branches were bones of liars and thieves
Rise up above it, high up above it and see

Pray to your god, open your heart
Whatever you do, don't be afraid of the dark
Cover your eyes, the devil inside...


then....
100 Suns lyrics:
...I believe in nothing
One hundred suns until we part
I believe in nothing
Not in sin and not in God

I believe in nothing
Not in peace and not in war
I believe in nothing
But the truth in who we are...

does not believe in God. :/


then
Vox Populi lyrics....
...Ever want to be free?
Do you even remember?
Want to be God, the devil like me?....


Search and Destroy Lyrics:
Found my faith, living in sin
I'm no Jesus but neither are you my friend
I'm on hope above the broken dreams
This simple answer is never what it seems
...
Sold my soul, from heaven into hell
Sick as my secrets, but never going to tell
Lock the blame, burden of my dreams
Cause of faith in a blessing I believe
I believe
I believe
I believe
Oh I believe (A million little pieces)
I believe...


Stranger in a Strange Land Lyrics:
...Enemy of mine
Fuck you like the devil
Violent inside
Beautiful and evil

I'm a ghost, you're an angel
One and the same
Just remains of an age...

Angel or demon
It came from my soul
I'm guilty of treason
I've abandoned control

Your soul...

ARHG:NAKSDOA:N! I don't understand....

Closer to the Edge by 30 Seconds To Mars

I don't remember the moment I tried to forget,
And I lost myself and is a better not said
Now I'm closer to the edge

It was a thousand to one and a million to two,
Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you.
Closer to the edge

No I'm not saying I'm sorry,
One day maybe we'll meet again
No I'm not saying I'm sorry,
One day maybe we'll meet again
NO NO NO NO!

(Can you, can you, can you)
Can you imagine the time when the truth ran free
The birth of a sun the death of a dream
Closer to the edge

This never ending story
It fall with pride and faith
We all fall short of glory
Lost in myself

No I'm not saying I'm sorry,
One day maybe we'll meet again
No I'm not saying I'm sorry,
One day maybe we'll meet again
NO NO NO NO!

(NO NO NO NO!) I will never forget
(NO NO!) I will never regret
(NO NO!) I will live my life

(NO NO NO NO!) I will never forget
(NO NO!) I will never regret
(NO NO!) I will live my life

No I'm not saying I'm sorry,
One day maybe we'll meet again (NO NO!)
No I'm not saying I'm sorry,
One day maybe we'll meet again (NO NO NO NO!)

Closer to the egde
Closer to the edge
NO NO NO NO!

Closer to the egde
Closer to the edge
NO NO NO NO!

Closer to the edge

I'm loving this song right now. :D

dude, time is going by slowly right now..

I want it to be friday so we can go to Amsterdam on a trip! it is going to be super fun!!!! Then next wednesday, I will be home! HOME in beautiful Sunnyvale!!! I miss you home! I miss everything right now but I am learning so much and exploring. I am really starting to love Hatfield for its creepiness at night!!!

Tomorrow I'm doing research and planning for my trip in January!!! i can't wait. I hope i have the money!!! I'm seriously broke. Thank you mom for helping me out this month! I really appreciate it. When I become successful and produce enough money, i am paying you back dude!!!

It is almost 11:15pm. I should really go to bed. I think I might just wake up late tomorrow and have a little more rest. I sleep better during the day, yes, time zones are still killing me a bit. lol. Hopefully, I will wake up to snow outside! It might snow. I am getting long johns tomorrow at the galleria so i won't freeze. Thank you mom!

Here are some photographs I took tonight when it was 28 degrees out and everything was frozen. Even the grass was frozen. The playground was frozen too!











Good Night.

Love,
Marianna

man oh man, what a day

today has been totally crazy and insane. yes, it has. Woke up late because I had a cough fit all night. yes, i feel bad for the person who lives next to me. Then the trash was filled up to the top and so was the recycling. Thank you roommates. lol.

The seminar part went over by a half an hour. I tried to edit and do photographs but I kept on coughing. it totally sucked. :( if i talked i coughed. it was just a long time in the studio. stayed until around 3ish i think. Then went to the LRC to print out my paper, which was a nightmare, yes nightmare! no money to put on my stuff, color printers breaking and jamming, paper running out, and getting confused. Plus, a million people in the lrc! ARGH! not fun.

After being in the LRC for a hour, finally go to go back to my room around 5pm. :D Then been slacking since then. I watched Kiki's Delivery Service and then edited photographs. wrote some christmas cards. fun fun stuff. lol.

Katja is leaving this week! I am totally bummed. She is on the people in my studio at school. She is so awesome. I love her work. It is amazing. I should take some photographs of it and post it for you guys!


I posted new photographs up on flickr. here are the websites:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157622873777681/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157622998556052/

I hope you enjoy them. I have about 9 more days until i'm back in california for christmas! nine more days! about three more days until i'm in amsterdam! ahhhh!


I can make your eyes bleed. lol.

Good night. time to read once again!!!!

Love,
Marianna

10 days until i am home

woo hoo! :D

walk for the week:
monday 6.1 miles
tuesday 8.6 miles
wednesday 6.3 miles
thursday 4.0 miles
friday 8.9 miles
saturday 8.6 miles
sunday 10.0 miles

my legs hurt. time to sleep :D

Merry Christmas

oh dear today

today was crazy....i was a slacker and melanie was productive. totally different roles today. i was crazy and ate spicy food. almost had death by spicy food. i really thought i was going to throw up in the studio. lol.

I love the artist Scanner. he is really cool but dude, that was a long hour of trying not to cough. i had to take like three cough drops during that period and of course, i still coughed. :( embarrassing.

Asda was fun looking for pancake mix. I thought they had american pancake mix but they didn't. :( so, they were crepes. lol. the bacon was ham and the eggs were good. lol. :D it was fun though cooking it.

Faye and I watched Wolverine. It was great. :D I didn't like the ending with deadpool saying shhhh...CREEEPY!

But it is time for bed. almost 12:30am! Good night. I am going photography crazy this weekend. lots to do lots to do!

love,
marianna

my official name is slacker

I feel like a slacker lately but dude, i did a lot yesterday!!! I emailed people, did work, researched places to go, and some other stuff. :D Then I went to bed early and read city of bones for a bit. I love that book. it relaxes me. :D

Now, I am just sitting in my room debating if I should finish my paper like the footnotes and bibliography or read city of bones. this is such a difficult question.

My tutorial went well today!!! So HAPPY!!! Lynne said this...the one who didn't like my work...

"good progression of work - photography, particularly the night photos, should be developed- take london exposure to create 'over exposed' images - perhaps more painterly or abstract. Research more about contemporary artist you see in London in contemporary galleries- look at reviews and at criticism"

woooo hooo! :D so good. so good.

I am going to "over expose" the photographs when I take some more night shots. Don't know when i will. I am going to go nuts in amsterdam and the surrounding areas. lol.

okay, so i am going to head and rest for a bit.

miss you all. See you in 13 days. wowie. so fast.

love,
marianna

early night...

heading to bed instead of going to party. I kinda of feel like shit right now which isn't so good. I think it might get loud later.

Good luck to you Melanie!!! :D

Tomorrow is my tutor. I gotta wake up early to get more research done about places. Too much to do!

Good night...

Love,
Marianna

4:06am

i am awake right now and it is making me mad. I should be sleeping but I can't fall back to sleep. I guess no more soda late at night even if I walk nine miles that day. geez. I am getting annoyed. :D

I've been writing more pieces of art work then actually doing them. It is interesting. my ramblings have been very depressing and dark. I think the light here is getting to me. It gets dark around 4 to 5 everyday but if it is rainy or cloudy it is gets pitch black at 4pm. booo. Also, thinking about leaving in December 23rd. I am scared to fly back. I hope nothing happens with plane ride and i can't go because of ice. I want to change my flight back so I can stay a bit longer in Cali and not feel so rush. I should ask my mom to figure it out for me. :D

I am sneezing, my eyes are watery, and blowing my nose right now. this kinda of sucks butt right now. lmao.

so i am going to try and go back to bed. i am getting sleepy right now so hopefully it works out. lmao.

Tonight's Photographs!

no headache, no stuffy nose, no congestion. I am feeling BETTER for once in about almost two weeks! woo. :D

love you all miss you too

see you guys in california in about 15 days! WOWIE!

love,
Marianna

I'll be home for Christmas...

I am so happy to see everyone! :D I still can't believe it is only 15 days away! I am surviving England! OMG. I am rocking it. I have a sinus headache again. This is stupid! I took sudafed and painkiller stuff. but nope. not working. I have a beanie and hoodie on, two paris of socks, two shirts on. Maybe I should invest in long johns. Maybe laura's friend ED can get me some. lmao.

Everything is going well here. Just proof reading my essay right now again. I took a little nap and it was good. now it is time to get some work done again.

Went and photographed stuff around here again! FOUND a half circle of mushrooms!!! :)

Will post photographs later.

Become my fan at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Sunnyvale-CA/Softspoken-MC-Photography/190067353364?ref=ts

Love,
Marianna

Yes, i am alive and I finished my essay!

I finished my essay!!! WOO HOO! I stayed up to midnight to finish it but I did finish it. If it makes sense is another story. lol. It is about seven pages long on A4 paper. It is so weird looking. It looks like a professional essay. eewww. lmao.

Now will be the detailed events happening on Saturday!

I woke up early around 8:30! I want to sleep in but it didn't happen which was okay. My eye didn't have as much nasty nasty on it when I woke too! I was so thankful. It is getting better!! :) Then around 9am I get a im from Susie asking if I wanted to go to Asda and the post office with her. I needed to go so we went on our adventure. This adventure lasted from 9:15am to about 5pm. lmao. Yeah it was crazy.

it all began with us going to Galleria to see if the ornament she wanted to send to her family was there so she could buy it and send it home for christmas. The Galleria wasn't open until 10am so we waited around until there. Just sitting and chatting which was nice.

okay I think I am going to stop and go for a walk outside because it is sunny!!! oh my gosh. it was just raining awhile ago. craziness!!!!

so i think i have pink eye....

i think England is trying to kill me slowly. So, i am kinda of getting better than all of the sudden my eye goes nuts! WTF! i am so angry. This morning i was completely achey and felt like i was dying. Then it got worst and worst during the day. Once everything was over and I got into my room all the weight of the world was release. IT was beautiful. lol

My tutor read my artist statement out loud because someone liked it and told him to read it. SO EMBARRASSING! But people liked it which is amazing. I don't like it that much. lmao. It doesn't sound like me....

here it is:

My work consists of the hidden moments of time, which are lost when we glance away for just a minute. The beauty of the forgotten, the darkness of night, and beauty of mistakes. These provoke a deeper question on how we relate to these mistakes and moments in our own life. I try to recreate moments which have touched me in a personal way. The light shining on a leaf produces feelings of being young again and playing in the leaves with my family in our backyard. The light streaking across the image brings back memories of the feeling I used to get on the drives on family vacations or to concerts when I was in high school and community college. Images of lonely streets in a new environment and just seeing things for the first time gives the sense of exploration which I have craved for since I was young. These memories are present in all of my work. A part of me is taken away when the shutter clicks. The images are close and personal to me even though I don't see anything from the image at first and it is just a straight image. The people who have influenced my work and process are Sandra Frank, Valerie Mendoza, Paula Butler, Patricia Prettie, David Apuzzo, Ansel Adams, Laura Taylor, Sara Renee Murray, and Yosigo. They have shown me different aspects that I can improve, how to challenge myself and to use the camera as more of an extension of myself rather than a tool producing a work. By mainly having photographs as the medium of choice, I give a person a real moment in time that I have experienced. At the current moment, I am exploring other mediums such as painting, drawing, sculpture, and printmaking. Maybe by giving real shape and substance to my works, it can create a more emotional attachment with the viewer.


I just have to change the artist and stuff to explain more. :D


But I uploaded a lot of photographs! I am thrilled. I didn't get to paint today which sucked. but I am going to on Monday with Melanie! WOOO HOOO! :D





those are from leeds.

So, i am going to finish watching Bridget Jones' Diary and then sleep. sleep in tomorrow. No worries about doing the wash because i just did it tonight. so happy. :D I am going to read City of Bones before i sleep though. I am thrilled about this weekend. Essay, Store, Mc D's, and more Essay. then the most important thing ever SLEEEEEEP!

Next semester is going to be crazy than this one. Traveling, working, doing projects. crazy. crazy.

okay, good night. Check out my flickr accounts!!!




Linton Falls: http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157622932947846/

Rare Breed Farm: http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157622932952372/

Leeds: http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157622808350213/

December 2nd (more photographs up!): http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157622920645320/

these I didn't take i took screen shots of them but they are beautiful images you can see: http://www.flickr.com/photos/softspokenmc/sets/72157622807865451/

love,
Marianna :)

jensen ackles...makes me smile :D

Banksy Reference in

Kings and Queens Music Video from 30 Seconds To Mars music video....





BANKSY lmao.

hey mom...

can i marry him?? lmao.





I LOVE JARED LETO!!!! :D

where is the time going?

I last checked my clock it was barely 9:10pm and now it is after 10pm! what the heck! I am going nuts dude!!! I did so much today. I think my brain is going to go on an overload about information of photography competitions and stuff. I am just scared to do anything because I feel like i still suck at taking photographs. Yeah, I like my photographs but I don't think I could win anything. My work isn't like a perfect photographs you see in magazine. It trips me out. :/ Hopefully I will just do it and do the competitions.

I have to start emailing photographers to shadow too. Why do they have to be so far away? i have no idea how i am going to get there. lol.

This is going to be short so I can go to bed soon. I miss you all and love you.

Love,
Marianna



P.S. I painted again and there is paint everywhere. lmao. Clothes, arms, and jeans. lol

good night.

december 2nd

the days are flying and i feel like i am standing still. it is hard to think that time is going forward and i feel like i haven't done anything. i am feeling like a failure right now. Maybe because I am getting over a cold that I am feeling this way but dude, i wish I could finish everything and not stress! Could someone please answer my emails? Can someone explain the things I need to do? Only two out of three tutors I like. dear me.

I really starting to miss my family because it is Christmas time now. It is kinda of punching me in the gut at times but I get to see them soon. I scared about getting the bus over to the airport because I don't know if my bag will fit. :/ I just have to see. I just look and it seems okay. lol

I painted today!!!






Photographs from today:






I have more :D It was fun. It was raining and stuff. I need to get a shower cap like Gina told me. :)

I am chatting with Melanie and she is in Paris!!! Her cousins seem awesome. :) She is eating home made food and I am jealous. lol.

Anywho, I am going to go. Going to get ready to bed. :D

Love,
Marianna

p.s. sorry this is all random and crazy like.

dying in the studio

this is me dying in the studio.

I got to school around 10am! I was so thankful for taking a shower the night before. I felt so good in the morning. had a perfect night sleep last night. it was amazing!!! :D

I worked on photographs for 2 and half hours in the studio today! it was fun. I am going to do about the same thing tomorrow as well and then go to the LRC to work on stuff. busy busy me. I just need to upload all my stuff. I need to go home and back up all my photographs because I am running out of room on my hard drive. I wonder if i should get an external hard drive here, would it work? Or a smaller portable one when I get my money next month.

Dude, I really can't believe it is december. Next month people are going to leave me. Kinda of sad about that...Gotta meet new people for next semester. Hopefully, I can hang out with Tristan and some other people. :D I know i can hang out with Tina.

Well, I should go to bed because it is 10:30pm. I gotta wake up at 8am again. lol. trying to get my full 8 hours of sleep. :D

Love and miss you all.