I have no idea but i am sitting here and crying yet again. I don't know why. Maybe just the flight and jetlag or just being alone right now. I have no idea. I couldn't get a hold of Whitney to see what she is doing, I think she is out with Michael. Deborah went to London but I don't want to take the train there by myself. I haven't even taken a shower yet. I just finished unpacking right now and My room is still not cleaned up. This is going to be my life for the next five months. The only break i get is when I see Libbi in March then in April my mom during spring break then my dad later in April.
It just hard at times when you just sit around and think, shit, this is going to be my life. None of my friends are online because they are out having fun, can't call my mom up because she is at work, my sisters are working and have lives. I'm just stuck here in another country just dealing with emotions that come up and trying to figure out myself. I just want it to end right now. I know I will be better later on when I finally start hanging out with people again but man, it is hard. I'm like stuck at this point and I have no where to move until tomorrow. I'm sulking in my own pity. It is the worst thing to do and of all day's its bloody new year's eve! I have about 3 hours and 57 minutes before the new year and i better not be crying cause I will be pissed off at myself. I guess its time for a shower and hopefully it will wash away my blues right now. or maybe a phone call from my mom.
Happy New Year! :D
Love,
Marianna
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